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You know you're no longer a kid when...

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• Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it any more.
• Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.
• The average ten-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are.
• Being bad is no longer cool.
• You have friends who have kids.
• Saturday mornings are for sleeping.
• You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.
• Your parents' jokes are now funny.
• You have once said, "Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
• You have owned, and since disowned Michael Jackson's Thriller.
• Christmas starts to piss you off.
• You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, 'cause mom is not there to do your laundry anymore.
• Two words: parachute pants
• Naps are good.
• Hitting girls is no longer considered flirting.
• You no longer do the "pee pee" dance.
• You have onced deemed Space Invaders as "The best game ever".
• You have at one time, inscribed the Duran Duran "double-D" logo or the Van Halen "VH" logo on the cover of your Trapper Keeper.
• When you know that the machines in gas station bathrooms don't dispense balloons.
• When things go wrong, you can't just yell, "Do-over!"
• Playboy's Playmate of the month is younger than you.
• The only thing in your cereal box is...cereal.
• You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.
• Your idea of fun parties now include Chips 'n' Salsa and Snapple.
• You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd.
• You WANT clothes for Christmas.
• You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.
• You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
• You've bought an albumn on vinyl.
• You remember seeing Star Wars when it first came out.
• You no longer do your Christmas shopping at Spencer's.
• Someone says, "My dad can beat up your dad", and you agree.
• Receiving mail is no longer fun.
• You actually choose to clean your room.
• Ten dollars is not a lot of money anymore.
• You own a garden hose.
• You have more than the front door key on your key chain.
• The music you grew up on is now bottled up on a three CD set and sold on an infomercial.
• Malls aren't fun anymore.
• The phone rings and you hope it's NOT for you.
• You watch the news.
• In the morning, you have to stand back 3 feet to take a whiz.
• You resemble Homer Simpson.
• You own jumper cables.
• You know what an "all-skate" is.
• You've ever worn Captain Marvel Underoos and yelled, "Shazam!"
• You pass up Toys-R-Us for a furniture store.
• You remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
• In your fifth grade class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
• You know, by heart, all the words to any "Weird Al" Yankovic song.
• The Brady Bunch movie brought back fond memories.
• You've debated the merits of Atari, IntelliVision and Colecovision.
• You remember when the houses on your street got cable.
• You remember when "alternative" music really was.
• You've taken a family trip the old way....in a station wagon.
• You learned grammar from Schoolhouse rock..."Conjunction-junction, what's your function?"
• (for guys) Your dream woman was once a toss-up between Linda Carter and Catherine Bach. (Wonder Woman and Daisy Duke)
• You've had Tab.
• "Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of an iceberg, shape of a hawk!"
• You've used a rotary dial telephone.
• You know who shot J.R.
• You actually believed that Mikey (of Life cereal fame) died after eating a whole packet of Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.
• You catch yourself humming the theme from "The Greatest American Hero."
• You wonder how Michael Knight got that posh lifegaurding job.
• Jelly shoes are no longer high fashion.
• "Just a good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm..." (go on, keep singing)
• You've played pong.
• You know what an 8-track cassette looks like.
• You have, at least once, "feathered" your hair.
• You start wishing you are younger than you are, rather than older.
• Your old toys are now collectables.
• You have started a phone conversation with, "Hi, is your mom there?"
• You actually pick up dropped ice cubes rather than kicking them under the fridge.
• Sitting indian-style makes your legs fall asleep.
• You've been to a concert that has featured one of the following bands: Duran Duran, Journey, Bon Jovi, RATT or Kiss

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